Road For Joy

Unrequited in love. Lost in life. How mean could destiny be toward me? How do i know i'm at the right path to where i should be? How do i tell him how i feel without losing him? Months passed.. our hearts still confused. You were near yet so far.. And i continue to take one step away from you. And finally, i'm used to this painful feeling every time i remember you. A love that was almost there.. A Love that was too good to be true. A  Love with no words being said  and feelings being unknown. A Love that ended before it was given the chance to start. Months passed.. our hearts still hasn't healed. It aches my heart to not have you around.. It aches my heart that i can't get closer when you are around.. Eventually, You'll learn to stop yourself from falling.. But sometimes its just too strong it'll just ruin you. The End has arrived . Its wasn't what we wanted, but it just happened Destiny was never on our side. Every Treasured memorie...

I thought you'd be annoying. i thought you'd be a nuisance. i'd never thought you'd be important. i'd never thought i'd feel scared to love all over again. It started out as a joke. It started out like any other love story. It started out with being friends. and slowly hints starts to show up. Could he seriously be falling? or maybe its just an imagination. Are we really saying these as lame jokes? or is there some sincerity as they are being said. Will i be running away again  from something that could be the best thing in my life? Will i avoid the cliff again or stay at the edge knowing someone would catch me down there? Will i be alright if i let myself fall despite the risk of getting hurt? Will you leave me if i stay on the safe side? Will i lose you if this story end? Will i be able to handle another wound on my own when you disappear? I get lonely, because they tend to leave. I get annoyed, because they don't seem to understand. I...

i like you.. i'm not sure why .. it's not like you were always close by in fact you were no where near ever. i like you.. For the little things you unintentionally do.. the simple sweet gestures which gives me butterflies.. the lame jokes that i wish was true. the serious side of yours that doesn't last long i like you.. it started out with a little interest and a little curiosity .. I didn't have the chance to get to know you well but from a distance, i started to like you.

When the rain starts to fall... And when the sun rises... when i take one step away.. and when the truth is revealed. is it okay for me to stay ?... Before i go to sleep.. Right after i wake up.. when falling in love is no longer a good thing. when loving  you is no longer controllable. when leaving you is already impossible. is being left behind my only choice?.. do i just accept the pain and move forward.. will i be able to forget you if i try? would you even care if i leave? How different will my life be if you're no longer around? will it hurt less if i can no longer see you ? Can't you just tell me to leave?.. as it may be a lot more acceptable later. and it may be a lot more easier afterwards. Because i love you, i'll always choose to stay.. i'd choose you over anything else. No matter how much it may hurt. even if i'd cry. i'll still choose to be with you. Just tell me to leave.. so i'll be easier for me to understand why...

Should we just stop? should we just go back when everything just seems like a game? Should we just let go and live on our own? Should we just go on and live with out having each other around? Because it seems that nothing is working out. Because it seems like there is nothing left to hold on. But does it usually feels this way? i'd stay even if there's nothing left to hold on to. i'd still look out for you when I no longer have to. I would miss you enough.. or a little too much when i'm not suppose to. why now, when everything had ended? Saying I'm fine.. Saying it's going to be alright as long i have people around. No, it doesn't seem to work that way.. I'd look around for you. I'm sorry, I still do think of you. if only i could, i'd run back to you and confess.. "That i didn't mean everything i said. That i only want you to care.. that i miss you that i love you.. i really do love you.. Will you still accept som...

i dont know what to say. sometimes, i want you to stay. sometimes i wish you'd never come back and just live your life without me. I get confused.  Just how much do i actually love you? enough to let go of you, for you. stupid right?.. your were sincere,  i know. Appreciated. but is love enough? are these feelings enough to stay?  well it wasn't  for me.. it only means being hurt all over again. being alot more stupid again. i've had enough of those painful memories. Distance has always matter, Time never cooperated. everything felt wrong, including telling you how much i care. so i didnt bother,  with my strongest will i hid every feeling so i can be around you, so no one has to get hurts, or maybe so i wont go through the same old love story again, nothing was easy,  everything had to be thought of properly coz i had to give up before even given the chance to try. Letting go, when nothing has started. and Holdin...

" i missed you.. to the point where i would fly all the way to you if i could." " i did everything i could, Everything to keep myself distracted, everything to forget how it was to have you, i tried my hardest, used my strongest will to let go of you" " but damn.. nothing worked out" I told myself, " let's change.. everything" To be someone i never expected myself to be was what i basically aimed for. To let the Hidden characteristics that even i never knew i had come out of its cave. to have you regret, hoping that maybe you'd regret. But eventually fails.. Because i'd go back to how i usually am whenever you're around. to the old " ME" ..  the one who'd let anyone hurt her because she's used to it. the one who'd bottle up the anger she has, so everything stays peaceful. the one you fell in love for... The one you loved.. to that idiot weakling. with hopes of maybe you'd lov...