Lost again.

i tried to save us.

i made sure we wont get ruined no matter what choice i made. 

but before i even got the chance to do any of that, you just left.

as i was trying to tell you how i feel, and who matters most to me.

you were busy getting mad, and didnt bother to listen. 

you were to full of anger you couldn’t look at me. 

i knew my mistake, i was in the middle of telling you that i was sorry. 

i was trying to tell you that i choose you over him and he knows.
but you kept repeating. "its up to me to choose" ..
as if you jump to conclusions that i had made a choice and that it was him. 

you jumped to conclusion that i already love him, so you choose to stay away from me.

you jumped to conclusion we’re completely ruined without even trying to save it.

you say you’re not mad at me but i could tell you dont want to talk to me. 

i knew that you could leave me easily. 

i knew if there was anyone who would leave from the both of us it’d be you and not me,
 that's why i couldn't tell you right away..

i’m mad at myself, that i put myself in a situation i have to choose between my bestfriend and him, and i dont want to choose

i’m mad that i completely ruined what you both have.

Both of you told me that i don't have to be guilty,
but how can I not be when i know i was the cause of it.

i feel like i should just leave and not choose because that seems like my only exit.
I really don't want to lose any of you.
it's seem impossible, i know