Unfortunately, Its gonna hurt you.

im shaking.. i want to cry. i want to get mad to the point where i'll end up crying. i want to hit you real hard but ,no. i can't sense that my tears will fall down my face anytime soon. i don't see myself being mad because i would be faking anger  because i'm not mad. But here i am all quiet like nothing is fine but is actually feeling damn suffocated. i feel so lost. i feel liked i'm completely crushed out that I no longer feel anything, anymore.

I loved you sincerely. I gave most of time time to you. i had myself focused on only you. i didnt only gave up friends but even my alone time to be with you. so why?.. what was i lacking? what more do you want? why did you have to look at someone else? Am i not enough? i loved you..soo much

Sometimes, people are blind enough to not notice that maybe what i need wasn't to cry out or to beat the hell out of a person to feel fine again. Sometimes people are blind enough to not notice even apologizing  doesn't relieves what we could actually be feelling inside.
and sometimes people are dumb enough to think that leaving us behind would help. Well no.

You know,  I'm hurt. that's right, i'm not mad, telling me to hit you won't  help.  Don't  apologize a hundred of times, it doesn't heal me. Don't leave , because it's me who wants to leave you. Quite  simple , don't  you think so? No need to hit the bushes.  No need of going on and on with nonsensical  talks. I'm just hurt. To do anything that you think might help won't work. It will take time to heal.

Sometimes, you're  just gonna have to wait patiently as i heal myself. If you think leaving would hurt me less, no. in fact it won't matter. you've hurt me already. Actually this is when I'll know if you really love me.  will you stay because despite everything because you still love me or will you leave me despite knowing you do love me but gives up anyways because you've already hurt me?

Eventually, since i'm already hurt, what comes next will depend on you. because I'm lost, i wouldn't  know what's right or wrong. i might even not care anymore. it hurts that bad that maybe i'd want to give up but would still stay because i love you much that i wouldn't mind being hurt just to be with you. but then, one thing for sure i would definitely  want to be left completely alone because i can no longer see the people around me. Yeah, love can hurt that bad, unfortunately.

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