Road For Joy

i'm scared, not exactly to fall in love, i'm scared of falling for you. The risk of getting hurt seems higher than being happy. i don't want to get attached but i think it's too late. i can no longer push you away, i'm scared, i think I've fallen for you already. this feeling i know, i'm not suppose to feel This feeling that makes me happy that at the same time makes a very sad story. This feelings that strangely feels like a crime this love that we best describe as forbidden . As i look at you through the phone and sighed heavily as my heart aches, I wished that i can pause this moment. As destiny forbids us, i wished that maybe at least i could tell you, without feeling any guilt I wish i could keep this love i feel. This happiness i haven't felt in a long time, As the timing is never right for us, and i'm just too weak to even try. i look at you as you fall asleep, how i wish i was there, or you were her...

One day you return On another day you disappear One day you express your love on another day, you're nowhere to be found. Am I inconsistent with my feelings  ? or Are you being a turn off for always disappearing? On one day you're out of reach on another day ,you are the clingiest one some day , you're cold on another day, it seems like you day is incomplete without me Are we playing the push and pull game? Or am i just assuming? Has i always been this unstable or am i just being played around? Why can't i hate you despite all that? What is it that makes you special, obliquely? i liked you years back.. i loved you since then.. But everytime you vanish, so would these feelings. Am i in love or is this a delusion? Road for Joy (c) 2017 unstable, in denial, and confused. 🐶🐢Fiction.

it isn't because i couldn't let go of you. it isn't because i'm expecting for more. these feelings appear once in a while, and when they do i try to hide them, but i always end up exposing them indirectly, unintentionally. It doesn't ruin the moment, or maybe we're just good in not giving a damn about it. It feels like it may explode anytime, but i always try the very best for it to not go out of control, at least not where you'll get to see it. These feelings are no where welcome anymore, not even to myself. i treasured them, i tried using this reason to keep them. They kept coming back, its not me. I ended up wanting to keep them. but just til there. i don''t want it to get any deeper, because you'd think i'm stuck on you. i don't want it to get exposed, because i don't like the idea of it. I did my best to show you that its okay if you don't feel the same because we don't want this back anymore, WE. but i...

On a day where feelings return. On a place where we suddenly reminisce. I'd smile through the happy moments Learn from the times i was hurt. I probably won't love less, nor would i choose to hurt others " it has always been you" sounds a bit too absurb but not false. These feelings that i don't know if they had disappeared then returned, or has always been there just hidden. I don't hate it, i don't wish to forget them. But they are also feelings i could no longer tell the world. How do i handle the feelings i'm not suppose to expose? How can i keep these feelings without having to burden the other half. Do i tell you tell once again that i love you? one last time, so maybe I would get tired of saying it. for the last time, so, maybe i'd stop expecting for the last time, so maybe it'll be enough so i will no longer need you beside me. for the last time, so maybe i will no longer care. Can i tell you i love you ...

Roses are Red Violets are Blue While i'm enjoying the color black on this day, i hope she have a colorful day with not just red roses and teddy bears but to enjoy a bouquet of chicken like any other girl would. To show more efforts than what she'd usually do, to appreciate you more than she normally do To thank you for everything you did. to sacrifice a little of her pride to surprise you to love you more and will always do. Roses are Red  Violets are blue, i sincerely wish for you the best What i'm going to say is the most fed up thing for today But,  Happy Valentines day to you. Road for joy (c) 2017 04/02/2017 Happy Black Day. :D

" Do you miss him ? .. "  No, i don't .. til you suddenly asked me. Now i do. i miss that it irritates me. i miss him that i wish i could just give him a calll i miss him that i wish it takes just one call to see him again. " Do you still love him? .. " No, i dont, .. til you suddenly asked me . Now i'm aware that i still do.. i love him and i wish he knew.. i love him that i want to tell the whole world. i love him.. enough  to hate myself. "Do you want him back?..." No, i dont... actually, i do.. But it seems so complicated to do so. But it seems so risky and i'm not willing to risk anything. But it seem too impossible because it already hurt me once. i want him back, that it annoys me  But i don't want to lose him any more. "Won't you have any regret? " i already do. Road For Joy (c) 2017 I loved you , I still love you , and I think I'll always do.

Unrequited in love. Lost in life. How mean could destiny be toward me? How do i know i'm at the right path to where i should be? How do i tell him how i feel without losing him? Months passed.. our hearts still confused. You were near yet so far.. And i continue to take one step away from you. And finally, i'm used to this painful feeling every time i remember you. A love that was almost there.. A Love that was too good to be true. A  Love with no words being said  and feelings being unknown. A Love that ended before it was given the chance to start. Months passed.. our hearts still hasn't healed. It aches my heart to not have you around.. It aches my heart that i can't get closer when you are around.. Eventually, You'll learn to stop yourself from falling.. But sometimes its just too strong it'll just ruin you. The End has arrived . Its wasn't what we wanted, but it just happened Destiny was never on our side. Every Treasured memorie...