Road For Joy

Hi love, i know we don't match well, i never understood how to play your game, the joy of just going with the flow, the discomfort for every sacrifices that has to be made, the excitement of the possibility  of winning the best thing i could have our life and the pain for the chance of losing what matters to you most. How happy you can be if you found a good match how hurt you may be if you're left to fight this game alone. How everything changes in a instant because of one mistake How you end up being desperate to forget.. even the good memories A game i'm so bad at, but never stopped playing how i always give up at the end and restart all over again. i want to stop all that. i don't want to go through the same old love story with a predicted ending. i  hate the idea of losing a part of me all over again. i don't like the thought of opening up to someone new all over again.  i no longer like the idea of love, as much i wish i...

What is there to hate about love? .. nothing. Why others don't let themselves involved with love? .. it hurts,doesnt it? i don't know if its idiocy or just how one chooses how to love. but sometimes, love can really ruin you, mentally and emotionally. To love is letting someone else get a grip of your life and how you get a hold of their life. If that mutuality isn't there, its could ruin you. It sucks how you have to let others take care of you, and give them the chance to hurt you. its just how it works...  Love is to sacrifice,  love is to let go when it no longer works out You know its love when everything about it irritates you, when it doesn't go the way you want it to but you just let it be, When you don't want to see them when you actually do. When falling in love scares you, what may happen?  nothing, they would simply just leave. Leave, because its too much to handle. Leave, because it hurt a little bit too much. Leave, maybe it woul...

no one knew, what we had. no one knows what we have we don't know til when we can keep what we have. i'd like to call it unfair but we knew this from the very beginning. we won't get the chance to try and i turn speechless as i hear you say " i guess we're really forbidden" it's not suppose to hurt much, because we knew this all along. i keep looking for excuses, a reason to give it a try, an excuse that says what we think of is just on our minds. that there is no such thing as forbidden. a valid reason that says everything depends on the both of us  and not what other people think an excuse to push through what destiny wont allow. but i keep getting reasons to stop Reasons to leave.. Reasons to just accept the fact that this is impossible a valid reasons that says this is the end of what we have. That i wasn't suppose to feel this way. that our feelings in not acceptable in any way that not only destiny but we...

i tried to save us. i made sure we wont get ruined no matter what choice i made.  but before i even got the chance to do any of that, you just left. as i was trying to tell you how i feel, and who matters most to me. you were busy getting mad, and didnt bother to listen.  you were to full of anger you couldn’t look at me.  i knew my mistake, i was in the middle of telling you that i was sorry.  i was trying to tell you that i choose you over him and he knows. but you kept repeating. "its up to me to choose" .. as if you jump to conclusions that i had made a choice and that it was him.  you jumped to conclusion that i already love him, so you choose to stay away from me. you jumped to conclusion we’re completely ruined without even trying to save it. you say you’re not mad at me but i could tell you dont want to talk to me.  i knew that you could leave me easily.  i knew if there was anyone who would leave from the both of us i...

i'm scared, not exactly to fall in love, i'm scared of falling for you. The risk of getting hurt seems higher than being happy. i don't want to get attached but i think it's too late. i can no longer push you away, i'm scared, i think I've fallen for you already. this feeling i know, i'm not suppose to feel This feeling that makes me happy that at the same time makes a very sad story. This feelings that strangely feels like a crime this love that we best describe as forbidden . As i look at you through the phone and sighed heavily as my heart aches, I wished that i can pause this moment. As destiny forbids us, i wished that maybe at least i could tell you, without feeling any guilt I wish i could keep this love i feel. This happiness i haven't felt in a long time, As the timing is never right for us, and i'm just too weak to even try. i look at you as you fall asleep, how i wish i was there, or you were her...

One day you return On another day you disappear One day you express your love on another day, you're nowhere to be found. Am I inconsistent with my feelings  ? or Are you being a turn off for always disappearing? On one day you're out of reach on another day ,you are the clingiest one some day , you're cold on another day, it seems like you day is incomplete without me Are we playing the push and pull game? Or am i just assuming? Has i always been this unstable or am i just being played around? Why can't i hate you despite all that? What is it that makes you special, obliquely? i liked you years back.. i loved you since then.. But everytime you vanish, so would these feelings. Am i in love or is this a delusion? Road for Joy (c) 2017 unstable, in denial, and confused. 🐶🐢Fiction.

it isn't because i couldn't let go of you. it isn't because i'm expecting for more. these feelings appear once in a while, and when they do i try to hide them, but i always end up exposing them indirectly, unintentionally. It doesn't ruin the moment, or maybe we're just good in not giving a damn about it. It feels like it may explode anytime, but i always try the very best for it to not go out of control, at least not where you'll get to see it. These feelings are no where welcome anymore, not even to myself. i treasured them, i tried using this reason to keep them. They kept coming back, its not me. I ended up wanting to keep them. but just til there. i don''t want it to get any deeper, because you'd think i'm stuck on you. i don't want it to get exposed, because i don't like the idea of it. I did my best to show you that its okay if you don't feel the same because we don't want this back anymore, WE. but i...